Shawn Ryan

"Alright, alright, alright. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N." He as zero shame or regrets, lives one mile at a time, looks likes a prime Matthew McConaughey with a Sons of Anarchy edge to him, although he can barely ride a bicycle. What can you say about this guy, he will show up to the draft with a fruit tray like a prick, has flow that puts a young Landman to shame, and a body that puts Becky's so called "temple" to shame. Could be in an All American "Ubetcha" drinking commercial in tight short shorts, a USA shirt, a bandana, along with cowboy boots. Sounds like a chick, I know, get ride of the beard and you could mistaken him for a female after a heavy night in the bar. This guy has the tolerance of a whale and slugs down more protein than the Liver King. Although his persona looks fantastic, his fantasy football skills are not. From the dinky town of Forest River, only known for getting hammered, farming drugs, and Curling while in a banana hammock. He comes in with 7 years blemished years of man on man experience, a 39-61-0 record while being to the playoffs just twice. Competing with Landman & Beck on who blows the most(maybe, maybe not), he has never finished better than 4th. Minus his stunning flow, he is always in contention yearly for the "Brown Eye Award" for taking dead last. On top of that, he has held the longest losing streak in 3 of the last 4 seasons , way to go Shawn! We should have a "Shit Award", which himself, Beck, and Landman are neck and neck for. They call him Shawn "Shawny 5" Ryan      

Notables 

7 Seasons

THE BROWN EYE AWARD - Last Place

-2022

MICHAEL WESTBROOK CRASH & BURN AWARD - Worst Season Record

-2022

GUS FREROTTE EPIC FALL AWARD - Longest Losing Streak

-2020, 2021, 2022

THE DSHOW & EDELMAN AWARD - 1st Round Pick Bust

-2018

BUSCH LIGHT ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWARD - The Rook(Shotguns a Busch)

-2018

THE CLEVELAND AWARD - Active Consecutive Playoff Misses

-2023

AARON HERNANDEZ AWARD - Worst League Name

-2024

THE WILLIAM SHATNER AWARD - Shit Trade After Shit Trade

-2024

THE COREY DANTZLER AWARD - Uncommitted Owner

-2019, 2020, 2024

THE BUTTDARTATHON AWARD - Picked To Be The Shittiest Owner

-2024

updated 1/20/25