Justin Heinz
Although this guy has known Bill since "Blink 182" debuted, he was unknowingly abducted in 2021 from his house by Zack, Becky, Chad, and Bill in what looked like scene from The Hangover to join our league. Since then, he has stolen more and more of our hearts with is goods looks, thick wallet, his continuous sly slander to the boys, and epic thigh slapper(Chad has noticed more then anyone). He travels more than Saddam Hussein did when he was moving bunker to bunker. Seen more skin than episode of "Nip Tuck", might possibly be the smartest man of all Fantasy Footballers around the world with his epic choice of language, his fascination for T&A, and top-notch fantasy football names like "TDs In Your Face" or "PatMahammered AJ's Browneye". Next time you see this man, ask him about his weenus and maybe cop a feel or just tell him he is gay, I promise you'll be satisfied of its epic preposterously flaccid loose skin! Speaking of preposterous, Heinz is on the wall of fame for "The Most Preposterous Statement of the Year", winning "The Carl Nassib Award" in 2022 & 2024, when he told us to "tape our schlongs to our buttholes" to "I'd do bare ass just for Chad, if he was there". This guy comes from a town of 350, no he wont hit on a lady at 350 like Chad, but yeh, the town is called Oslo. With a record of 34-28-2 and 3 playoff appearances in 4 years. The reigning, defending, BPFL Champion with no trades made has a brighter future than the Commissioner's previous marriage. They call him Justin "Heinzbo” Heinz.
Notables
4 Seasons
THE OASIS BPFL BOWL CHAMPION - 1st Place
-2024
THE JABRONI - 3rd Place
-2022
BART STARR AWARD - Winner of Pounder Division
-2024
CHIP LOHMILLER AWARD - Longest Winning Streak
-2024
BUSCH LIGHT ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWARD - The Rook(Shotguns a Busch)
-2023
THE CARL NASSIB AWARD - Most Preposterous Statement of the Year
-2022, 2024
THE C.B.D.B.P.D AWARD - Biggest Rebound
-2024
THE HARVEY WEINSTEIN AWARD - Biggest Drop
-2023
BOB ROSS AWARD - Best League Name
-2021, 2023
updated 1/20/25
