Alex Beck

Likes to wear tight little red panties on his free time, from the shooting gallery of Chicago. Claims to be the best athlete out of the state of Illinois. Proved it once down in Fargo by going to his root's and bricking/air balling 3 shots in a row on a random court out of "White Men Can't jump". Had MRSA twice, a weirdly disfigured body and face, his fingers tend to do weird shit after a few beers. His legs make skinny jeans look big, has hair of a grizzly bear with his shirt off. He thinks his body is a temple, once walked around naked completely sober at a softball tournament in Biz just to prove it, also not the truth. Always down for a few beers, whether you are home or not, will leave you friendly floaters as a welcome home surprise. With another dismissal year in 2025, he has a career record of 59-75-0 in 9 seasons', been the 1 seed twice, while being dead last two of the last four years and three times overall. Has never made it out of the 1st round when making the playoffs. If there is an award for the goat. You might have to make a Becky award just for how bad he really is. They call him Alex "Becky" Beck.   

Notables 

9 Seasons

THE BROWN EYE AWARD - Last Place

-2016, 2021, 2023

DOUG WILLIAMS AWARD - Winner of Busch Division

-2018

MARK RYPIEN AWARD - Best Season Record

-2018

MICHAEL WESTBROOK CRASH & BURN AWARD - Worst Season Record

-2016, 2021, 2023

HEATH SHULER MEMORIAL AWARD - Least Points/Season

-2021

JAMES THRASH FLAG OF FUTILITY AWARD - Least Points/Week

-2024

CHIP LOHMILLER AWARD - Longest Winning Streak

-2019

GUS FREROTTE EPIC FALL AWARD - Longest Losing Streak

-2016, 2021

THE BELICHEAT AWARD - Best Draft Results

-2017

MICHAEL J. FOX SHAKY START AWARD - Worst Draft Result

-2016, 2022, 2023

THE HOWARD STERN AWARD - Someone Doing Better Then Expected

-2018

THE DSHOW & EDELMAN AWARD - 1st Round Pick Bust

-2017, 2019, 2023

THE CRIPPLE FIGHT AWARD - Tightest Win

-2017, 2018

THE CARL NASSIB AWARD - Most Preposterous Statement of The Year 

-2021, 2023

THE BRADY AWARD - Active Consecutive Playoff Appearances

-2018, 2019, 2020

THE CLEVELAND AWARD - Active Consecutive Playoff Misses

-2024

BOB ROSS AWARD - Best League Name

-2019

PUKIN A NIGHTSTAND AWARD - Drunkest at the Draft

-2024

THE O.J. SIMPSON AWARD - Biggest Shit Talker

-2021

SPILL BEER & RUB YOUR PIERCED NIPPLES AWARD - Biggest Whinner

-2016, 2021, 2023

THE COREY DANTZLER AWARD - Uncommitted Owner

-2024

updated 1/20/25